Workshop & Aftercare
Our Workshop
The Family Bridges workshop helps families whom therapists and the courts thought were beyond help.
The Family Bridges workshop is the earliest specialized program for troubled and severely alienated parent–child relationships. Since 1991, the Family Bridges workshop has been the gold standard globally in helping children and teens reconnect with a parent from whom they are alienated. To date, it is the only program whose short-term and long-term effectiveness has been documented with well-accepted peer-reviewed research using reliable measures. Its curriculum is grounded in scientific, evidence-based instruction principles.
In this structured 4-day educational and experiential workshop, the target parent and their severely alienated children participate together without any other families and without the presence of the other parent. The workshop is scheduled to commence the day after the Court temporarily transfers decision-making authority to the target parent, and places a minimum 90-day no contact order between the alienating parent and the children or, in the case of recovered abducted children, immediately upon their return.
The two primary goals of the Family Bridges workshop are:
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To prepare children to cooperate with court orders that require them to live with a parent whom they have rejected, or claim to hate or fear
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To improve the quality of the parent–child relationship
“The children’s lawyer said in court that she sees no more signs of depression and sadness in my son, and that there has seen a 180-degree shift in the children’s attitudes towards most things. Both children are now saying kind things about me. Life feels so good and normal right now, that at times I can almost forget the horrors that we all had to endure.”
– A formerly alienated mother of two teens
Who can enrol?
The Family Bridges workshop is offered to families when:
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A child’s view of the target parent is unrealistic
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A child rejects a parent after divorce, refuses or resists contact with a parent, or treats a parent with gross contempt and guiltless disregard
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The family needs help adjusting to court orders that place the child in the sole care of the target parent and suspend contact between the child and the other parent until specific conditions are met
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A child’s negative attitudes and behaviours toward the parent are not a reasonable or proportionate response to that parent’s behaviour towards the child
While the workshop is geared towards children from age 9 to 18, some adult children experiencing severe alienation participate as well. There is a modified protocol that is appropriate for children 9 years of age and younger.
The Family Bridges workshop is not appropriate for:
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Children whose rejection is reasonable, proportionate to, and warranted by the history of the child’s relationship with the target parent
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Children whose target parent is found to be incapable of exercising custodial responsibilities, such as parents with severe physical illnesses
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Families in which the children spend most of their time away from the target parent, or who will be with the target parent only for a short period of time e.g. holidays or school breaks
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Most parental alienation cases that are at a mild or early moderate stage
“The kids are doing amazing. I am so happy!! People keep remarking that they are completely different kids. My daughter is enjoying being a teenager and it is amazing to be able to text her and laugh with her (when she’s not being a typical crazy teenage girl) and get to be her Mom again.”
– A formerly alienated mother
“It has been one year since we were awarded custody of the children. It has been a phenomenal year… so full of blessings. The children have adjusted so well, have made terrific friends, and have excelled in school. We are a family.”
– A grateful mother
“If it were not for the Family Bridges workshop we would never be where we are now. Now things are going really well with the kids. My son has been talking so much about all his thoughts and feelings about what has happened these last few years…Things are relaxed, with nothing more than the normal ups and downs of daily life.”
– A formerly alienated mother of two teens
“My son is like a whole different child, funny and joking. Last weekend we were with my dad and brother and their families, and they said it was night and day their attitudes and demeanor. It was like the last 3 or 4 years had never happened, and we got them back (which we have.) All of this has helped me relax more and become more and more affectionate with them.”
– A formerly alienated father
“It was almost as though they had never been alienated.”
– A formerly alienated father
Aftercare Protocol
Family Bridges Institute is the only organization to provide a standardized, structured Aftercare Protocol for the alienating parent upon completion of the Family Bridges workshop.
The Aftercare Protocol is conducted by a mental health professional with the alienating parent and their negative advocates during a series of appointments throughout the minimum 90-day no contact period. It is the standard protocol used in every Family Bridges workshop case around the world.
The Family Bridges Aftercare Protocol was developed based upon the UN Convention on the Rights of a Child. It was designed as a child protection model, an emergency intervention and a behaviour change model for the alienating parent. The ultimate goal is to give children the best chance of having a loving and healthy relationship with both parents, when possible. The curriculum is structured to help alienating parents understand, acknowledge and demonstrate learning about parental alienation; to accept responsibility for their alienating behaviours; to better meet their children’s emotional and psychological needs post-divorce; and to educate them about a parallel parenting model. It is designed to work in tandem with Court oversight and strong bench management.
The pace, duration and outcome of the work done in the Aftercare Protocol are contingent upon the alienating parent’s cooperation, active participation and comprehension.
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How do I enroll in the Family Bridges workshop?To apply for a Family Bridges workshop, please complete the contact form at the bottom of the page.
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Can I be referred to the Family Bridges workshop?Yes. Referrals to Family Bridges come from courts, child custody evaluators, therapists and counselors, attorneys, and child representatives (such as guardians ad litem, amicus attorneys, best interest attorneys, Office of the Children’s lawyers, and child protection workers). The workshop cannot commence until it has been ordered by the courts.
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Are families ordered by the court to participate in a Family Bridges workshop?In some cases, the court will order a target parent to participate with the children in a Family Bridges workshop. In other cases, the court will grant the target parent sole decision-making authority to pursue whatever remedy he or she deems necessary and/or appropriate, including, but not limited to, a Family Bridges workshop. Divorce decrees and court orders determine who has the authority to make educational and health care decisions for children. If a parent has the sole authority to make such decisions, and does not need to consult with or obtain the approval of the other parent, a parent can choose to enroll a child in a Family Bridges workshop just as the parent with such authority can enroll a child in different types of educational experiences, tutoring, counseling, medical treatment, etc. In some particularly volatile situations, where concerns are raised about one parent interfering with the custodial parent’s right to enroll the child in a Family Bridges workshop, such as by unlawfully retaining a child, it may help for the court to take judicial recognition of a parent’s exploration of, or intent to have the child participate in, a Family Bridges workshop.
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Do all siblings participate in a Family Bridges workshop, or just those severely alienated?Family Bridges Institute recommends that all children participate in the workshop, as even those children less alienated can benefit from the educational materials. Parents will need to make arrangements for the care of children under age 9 during some modules of the workshop. Judges and parents will often express concerns about the severity of the alienating behavior in children who are about to age out of the Court system, and they wonder about excluding them from the Court orders out of fear that the older children are beyond reach or that they may disrupt the workshop for their youngers siblings. Family Bridges Institute recommends that all children within the family are included in the planning for the intervention. The workshop leaders are trained to determine when the older child is sabotaging the workshop for their younger siblings and to manage this situation with the target parent.
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Can a stepparent or grandparent participate in the workshop?Usually, everyone in the household where the children will be living post-judgment are encouraged to attend the workshop together. Also, any member of the family or household who has been rejected by the children is invited to participate in the workshop. There are no additional fees for additional participants.
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Do most children choose to attend a Family Bridges workshop?Most children do not choose to attend the workshop. Many comply with a parent’s expectation when the Court Orders give that parent the legal authority to make such a decision. Some adult children choose to participate. A few children younger than 18 years of age choose to participate. In some cases, the court takes judicial notice that the parent intends to enroll the children in the workshop, and in other cases the Court Orders explicitly require the parent and children to participate in the workshop. In this respect, children’s enrollment in a Family Bridges workshop is similar to their enrollment in other educational and therapeutic experiences in which children may not voluntarily choose to participate, such as when a court or parents expect children to participate in psychotherapy and counseling, admit children with drug-abuse problems to a drug rehabilitation program, admit children with mental health problems to a residential treatment center or hospital, or enroll children in a boarding school, military academy, or other private school against the children’s stated wishes.
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Where are Family Bridges workshops conducted?Family Bridges workshops are offered throughout Canada, the United States and abroad by trained and licensed workshop leaders. The workshop usually takes place at a vacation resort facility. This setting allows the family plenty of opportunities for recreation and enjoyable interactions at the end of the educational day. In some cases, the workshop providers travel to the target parent’s city. In other cases, the family travels to another city and and then enjoys a brief vacation following the workshop before returning home.
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When are Family Bridges workshops conducted?Each workshop is customized to meet the needs of each family. It is carefully coordinated to occur immediately after the release of the Court’s decision to help the children transition and adjust to the new Court orders regarding temporary decision-making authority and the change in the children’s living arrangements. In the case of recovered abducted children, the workshop is scheduled as close as possible to the children’s return.
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Who pays for the Family Bridges workshop and Aftercare Protocol?The cost of the Family Bridges workshop is paid by the target parent who is motivated to reunite with their children. The cost of the Family Bridges Aftercare Protocol is paid by the alienating parent who is motivated to reunite with their children. Very often, these costs are re-apportioned by the Court at a later date. In the future, we hope scholarships will be available for families that cannot afford the program. In cases involving returning abducted children, other agencies may provide funding to assist families with the reunification process.
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Is there any provincial or state regulation of Family Bridges workshops?All workshop leaders hold licences with either the College of Psychologists of Ontario (or local psychology board) or The Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (or local social work board). Each professional is subject to regulation by their professional college.
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Can the Family Bridges workshop be offered virtually?No. The workshop is interactional and experiential and requires the physical presence of all participants.
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Is a Family Bridges workshop therapy or counselling?Neither. The workshop provides an educational experience based on scientifically established concepts and procedures. The Family Bridges workshop is unlike traditional office-based reunification therapies that explore the emotional and psychological conflicts disrupting family dynamics. Most target parents and children who participate in Family Bridges workshops have previously engaged in these traditional psychotherapeutic efforts to repair their damaged relationships, without success.
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Does Family Bridges Institute separate children from one of their parents?No. Family Bridges Institute has no authority to make Court orders regarding decision-making authority or parenting time. Most families who attend the workshop have a long history within the Family Court system of unresolved conflict. Sometimes Court will determine it is in the children’s best interest to temporarily suspend contact with one parent and to order an intensive reunification program to repair the damaged relationship with the other parent. In such cases, the Court recognizes that the family members will require professional help to adjust to the new orders, and the Court will order the Family Bridges workshop and Aftercare Protocol. Family Bridges Institute is then subject to Court orders, as are the various family members.
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Are children isolated when participating in a Family Bridges workshop?No. To the contrary, all siblings and their parent participate together in the workshop. In addition, each late afternoon and evening following the day’s workshop activities, parents and children engage in enjoyable recreational activities together away from the workshop leaders, such as visiting nearby malls, attending movies, hiking, swimming, etc.
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Are children ‘deprogrammed’ during a Family Bridges workshop?No. The term ‘deprogramming’ is a misnomer when applied to a Family Bridges workshop. The term was originally used in reference to work with cult victims and came to evoke images of abducting, forcibly restraining, and isolating cult members while wearing them down with lectures in a process that could be described as a form of brainwashing. None of this occurs during a Family Bridges workshop. Throughout the workshop, the leaders repeatedly solicit feedback from the participants, answer questions, correct misimpressions, reinforce the participants’ prerogative to have their own opinions after each presentation, and ask the participants whether the workshop is meeting their goals and expectations. As opposed to brainwashing, which fosters the suspension of critical thinking and inculcates distortions of reality, the workshop teaches children to think critically and to correct distorted perceptions. Children receive information commonly presented in psychology and sociology classes and it is left to the participants to decide if and how they want to apply what they have learned. Most children whose behavior is inappropriate do not choose to enroll in special schools, special programs, and mental health treatment. Caring adults make the decision for them. Similarly, alienated children do not generally regard their alienated behavior as something they need to change. Adults (e.g., custodial parents) who have the authority to make such decisions for the children enroll them in a Family Bridges workshop. Workshop leaders do not restrain children in any manner, and the leaders make it clear to the children that this is not the role of the workshop leader.
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How do children experience the Family Bridges workshop?Many children arrive at the workshop with negative expectations. Many have felt empowered to dictate the nature of their relationships with their parents and are stunned that the court has overturned the status quo. By the end of the first day, the participants are usually relaxed and in an upbeat mood. They are relieved that the process is easier than anticipated and the parents often are overjoyed at having contact and regaining some semblance of a relationship with a once lost child. Children usually are relieved when they learn they can restore a relationship with the target parent without forgoing their relationship with the other parent. They reveal that they have all along preferred to keep both parents in their lives. Also, they are relieved when they can save face by not having to rehash all the bad moments and painful scenes in order to reconcile. For the most part, the program is entertaining, benign, non-confrontational, and presented in a manner that respects children’s emotional needs and capacities. Children are given a great deal of latitude in regulating the pace of the program, the emotional intensity of the discussions, and the frequency and duration of breaks. As opposed to pressure the children might have felt in the past to think a certain way about the target parent, this program teaches children to correct distortions of reality and a premium is placed on the exercise of criticial thinking, rather than its suspension. The children appreciate that the goal of the intervention is to foster children’s positive relationship with their target parent, not to damage children’s relationship with the other parent. Also, children appreciate that a goal of the intervention is for children to develop balanced, realistic and compassionate views of both parents rather than polarized views in which one parent is considered all good and the other is considered all bad. In a 2019 outcome study, by the end of the program, most children felt positively about the experience. Naturally the few children who did not respond positively to the workshop had more negative attitudes about the experience. Also, these children, and those who relapse and become re-alienated from a parent, may be prone to retroactively complain about the workshop.
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Does the Family Bridges workshop have any risks?All interventions carry some risks. One risk of the Family Bridges workshop is that it will not accomplish its goals, and a child will remain unreasonably alienated from a parent. If so, this carries the risk that the parent will be disappointed, and the child will complain about the experience. In evaluating such complaints, it is important to remain aware that a court found the alienated child made unwarranted complaints about a parent, and the child’s complaints and allegations about the Family Bridges workshop may be similarly unwarranted. For example, one risk is that a child will interpret the workshop’s efforts to heal the parent-child relationship as an attempt to make the other parent look bad. Although this is not how the workshop operates—the program strives to help children maintain balanced and compassionate views of both parents—some children, who were not able to repair their damaged relationship and continue to align with a parent whom the court found to be engaged in alienating behavior, accuse the workshop facilitators of trying to undermine their relationship with their other parent. Accusations that Family Bridges facilitators have harmed a child merit examination and should be evaluated in the context of the case evidence and outcome data on Family Bridges workshops, particularly the high percentage of children who reported they were treated with respect and kindness by the workshop leaders. Another risk is that some children will blame the Family Bridges workshop for separating them from a parent and requiring them to live with a parent whom they had been rejecting. Naturally, this blame is misplaced since it is only the court that makes decisions about parental decision-making authority. Another risk is that a child could be so resistant or out of control that they are not ready to participate in the workshop. In such a case, the custodial parent may consider the option of a facility, such as a residential treatment program, to protect the child until the child regains self-control. A related risk is that when a child is told about this option, the child will interpret this as a threat and not necessarily protection and will subsequently complain that they were threatened during the workshop. When the court orders are clarified for the children, they may claim they were told that lack of cooperation in the Family Bridges workshop would result in an extended separation from the other parent. Again, such a complaint is misplaced since it is only the court that makes custody decisions.
114 Maitland Street, Suite 418
Toronto, ON M4Y 1E1
Tel: 416.934.7907